Choosing to Cheat

OK, I haven't posted in a month and a half. I took the week of Thanksgiving off and the next thing I knew it was 2009. There were many days that I desperately felt the need to write, but the tyranny of the urgent kept me from it. While my absence wasn't planned, it has served to remind me that I have a predicament. I am over committed. Overcommitment has never been my goal. In fact, for years I did a good job avoiding it. But somewhere along the way it snuck up on me, taking control bit by bit.


About the same time I began to feel the suffocating effects of this phenomenon, Pastor Pete addressed it at Crosspoint. Short story - we all choose to cheat. The important question is are we cheating the right things?


So what am I cheating? Job, children, husband, etc. The minute he asked the question I heard that internal voice. You know, the one that is tied to your conscience. The one we try in vain to silence. At the same time it said, "Both God and yourself." Makes perfect sense. Cheat God and the one you really wind up cheating is yourself.


I began a mental list of what roles I play: Wife, Daughter, Mother, Substitute Teacher, Creative Memories Consultant, Friend, Sister, Cook, Chauffeur, Laundress. As the list went on I was struck by what was missing. Child of God. In the rush to keep all the balls in the air, I dropped one and I didn't even take the time to notice. What should top my list and enable me to fulfill all the other roles has been neglected. The slow fade wasn't marked by some large blasphemous act, but by little things. A subtle shift in priorities and a lack of awareness.


So the real question for me is what am I going to do about it? What do I need to let go of? What good things should I say no to so that I can say yes to the best things? Where does God want me to be effective? Bottom line, there are no easy answers and no quick fixes. But every journey starts with one step in the right direction. What will I do today to start down that path? Anyone else identify?